Romeo and Juliet (the balcony scene diary)
I would rather die if Romeo is married; for he is not, I may love him dearly. But how could I love what I was destined to hate when he is a Montague. Hate, I do, but it is solely his name that I hate; and I do love, I love everything of him apart from his name. Thus, it tears me apart, this love is too strong to deny, but what is expected is too hard to fulfill. How could a single name shape such immense love? A name is a name, to separate a thing from another, but with my love, he does not need one, for with love all I could ever see is him, and all I have would be his. Hence, I would be more than willing to be naked, unnamed, and undefined if I were loved by him, and I would still be merely me, myself- his lover. That is the only way I and he could escape this fate that was embedded in our name.
My thoughts are of myself only, yet once again, like my heart, it is exposed to Romeo. Embarrassed, but was more surprised by his unusual appearance, I cannot cease to wonder: how could he be here, and foremost, why would he be here? Did he not know how dangerous it is for a Montague to be in this house? But then as he speaks, how soft it is of his voice and how sweet it is of his speech, my heart starts racing and pounding. Though the night was dark and cold, all I could feel is the warmth in my chest and the dense love in the air; I could not stop myself, knowing it is bad for him to be here, yet I could not help but to long for him. I was overwhelmed by the lust, we both were. He loves me, yes, but do he sincerely and faithfully be? For this love comes too quick and too easy as he overheard my thoughts. If the desire for achievement is what drives lovers to love; thus, I afraid ours would not last. But do not get me wrong, dear love, my love is not light but so heavy that it drives me uncontrollably, making it seems in the eyes to be taken lightly. Love is as a flower, quickly it blooms, and so swiftly it withers. This love is yearning, yet I also want it to linger; for so I hope I and you could wait, not because I do not love you, but the contrary. My love is infinite; therefore, the more I pledge my love for you, the more love I would have, both in mine and your heart. Because I wanted this love to be taken seriously, with care and consideration, and if it is truly so, tomorrow shall I be married. Please go, but please come back, my dear love.